When I first started facilitating group discussions, I wasn’t very good at it. At all. 

Back in 2013, I started an organization called MOVE, which is a program for teenage girls focusing on self-esteem, mental health, body image, and more. Throughout my eight years running the program, I have led many workshops and directed half a dozen summer sessions. The part that was initially the most challenging and left me feeling the most insecure was leading small groups. I struggled with awkward silences, overtalkers, and feeling confident in my role as a leader. 

Here’s the great news: facilitating is a skill, and it’s one anyone can improve at. Here are a few things that have helped me become a better facilitator.

The initial meeting for a group is absolutely critical to set expectations for the kind of culture you want to create. 

Here are some activities I recommend you lead during the first meeting: 

1. Rules and Norms. Establish what’s important to you, and what’s important to your group.

2. 3,2,1. Have participants share: 

   • 3 facts about themselves

   • 2 things they hope to do, learn, or achieve

   • 1 thing they are nervous for this year

3. Fears and Hopes. This is a great activity to do on the first day, to help assess where the group is at and to encourage honest conversation. Basically, it’s exactly what it sounds like - you write down your fears about the program you’re participating in and what you’re hoping for. 

4. Hopes and Goals. Similarly, it’s great to set goals for your time together, because what you put in is what you get out.

5. Secret Buddy Compliment. This usually works best when you’re working with a group for an extended period of time. You have all of the members write their names down on a piece of paper and then fold them. Then, you give each member another member's name. They have to keep who they have a secret for a certain duration of time. At the end of the designated time period, each person reveals who they had and why that person is so wonderful. 

Here’s one activity to start every small group discussion with. Ask a straightforward question like, “What is one takeaway you have from today?” or “What is something you liked about today?” 

• This is a good activity because it sets a tone where everyone shares one thing that is not difficult to share, then is given an opportunity to elaborate. 

• This is not always an activity that sparks endless conversation, but I still think it’s a really good activity to start with because when everyone shares, you can assess what the group took away and what they didn’t, and also sometimes things they share really great things that are good jumping off points to elaborate on. 

Finally, let’s run through a few small group scenarios and troubleshoot them.

Group members are quiet

• The best way to get group members to contribute is by sharing your own thoughts first.

• If specific group members are quiet, I will encourage everyone to share their thoughts, but I don’t usually single out anyone  because I don’t want to put too much pressure on anyone initially. However, I sometimes reach out to members individually if they are consistently not sharing and tell them how much I would love to hear from them.

Group member shares a thought that doesn’t connect to the focus

• If the thought seems to resonate with the group, I sometimes let them ramble on  because it promotes comfort and group bonding. 

• But if it doesn’t resonate, or it’s just inappropriate, or not the focus, I attempt to redirect the conversation.

Group members are not engaging with content

• This is a super tough one. Sometimes, I’llstop if the content is clearly not resonating and try to change it on the spot. 

Some group members are dominating the conversation/other group members are quiet

• This is where I’ll remind participants of Step In, Step Out (step in if you’re not speaking or sharing very much, step out if you are). 

Remember, facilitating is a skill - and it’s one that you can build!! 

Let me know if you need a personal hypewoman - you can find me at @visionariaconsulting or @ashleyolafsen :)